When my heart was embittered
Psalm 73:21-22 [NASB]
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
We can all be in error. We have all been taught things that are wrong. We have all been mistreated, and many of us have been egregiously hurt by false teachings and by people. While some of these problems are certainly worse than others, we all have a need to correct these errors and heal from our wounds. And to do this we need discernment, objectivity, truth, grace, and forgiveness (but only if forgiveness is accurately understood and applied). *[See our book on Forgiveness & Trust]
How we respond to error, sin, and pain holds great power (Prov 28:13; Jas 5:19-20). It can literally be a life or death decision (Duet 30:19; Prov 12:28; 14:1; Jer 21:8; Rom 8:5-6; 2 Cor 7:10-11; cp 1 Kgs 21:1ff). Nevertheless, it is not uncommon for people to respond to a real, and often perceived problem by overcorrecting, thereby falling prey to “Overcorrection Syndrome.” This has always happened, and, sadly, it will continue to occur.
As a result, those who suffer from “Overcorrection Syndrome” do not accurately identify, understand, or correct the actual error or issue at hand. Instead they overcorrect and end up in another (often extreme) error. It is the proverbial going from the frying pan into the fire. Or, as some have described it: “Going from the gutter on one side of the street to the gutter on the other side.”
They overcorrect and end up in another (often extreme) error.
To complicate matters even more, many Over-Correctors compound problems when they add a great deal of bitterness (“Overcorrection With Bitterness Complications”; see Bitterness). This not only multiplies the distortion, confusion, and pain, it also destroys objectivity, harms others, hinders healing, increases hopelessness, thwarts the solution, obstructs justice, creates injustice, and even inverts justice. Bitterness is truly deadly (cp Heb 12:15; Ps 73:21-22).
Perhaps worst of all, (and speaking of life and death), these tragic responses lead many people to actually leave the faith altogether. Not only is this increasingly common, it is even celebrated in today’s increasingly dark world (usually in blogs, social media, and comment sections). Sadly, as if this could not get any worse, many who walk away then become bitter enemies of Christianity and Christians themselves.
These tragic responses lead many people to actually leave the faith altogether.
For example: instead of accurately discerning and correctly blaming the specific offender—and/or accurately identifying the specific wrongdoing or false teaching—they often condemn Christianity as a whole, or pronounce a resounding condemnation on a certain group of Christians. There are some who not only overcorrect with bitterness, they spend a large part of their life as ardent adversaries of Christianity, with a particularly heightened animus toward those with a high view of Scripture.
Going even further, it is not uncommon for some to overcorrect and to then eagerly embrace the world, its ways, and its “wisdom.” There are others who overcorrect, yet they have a “world-approved-theology.” In other words, while they may still believe in God, at least in one way or another, their values, behavior, and beliefs mirror and are acceptable to those who have rejected God, if not hate God. And then there are those who simply embrace a counterfeit Christianity. Yet all of the above frequently join forces to demean and demonize actual Christianity. While they occasionally identify an obvious counterfeit or wolf in sheep’s clothing, they often lump the bad guys in with the good. *[See (In)justice Warriors]
Objectivity and discernment are always needed in life. How much more so in situations like these? Yet these life determining realities are rarely seen here. How does that happen? Simply put, unresolved hurt and deep bitterness distort, if not destroy, objectivity. This, then, prevents the hurting individual from healing, and from accurately discerning truth from error, and, therefore, from making accurate corrections (cp Ps 73:15-17, 21-22; Heb 5:12-14). Therefore, by definition, they will remain in error, pain, and disillusionment.
Unresolved hurt and deep bitterness distort, if not destroy, objectivity.
Furthermore, those dismayed by Christians or churches—in real or perceived ways—often join “Echo Chamber” type groups. This is effectively a death sentence. How so? Because participation in these groups not only increases their bitterness and error, it replaces any discernment with group-think, and any hope with hopelessness—all of which essentially seals their fate. Not only are they locked into perpetual victimhood, pain, and bitterness, they are also robbed of hope, truth, and solutions. What could be more diabolical and deadly than that?
If problems and errors are not handled with reasoned discernment (e.g., accurately identifying and separating error from truth), especially when it comes to extreme problems, then we will likely remain in error, or even overcorrect into another extreme error. In a tragic twist of irony, instead of these individuals being a vital part of the solution, they—due to their overcorrection and/or bitterness—make the problems even worse, while they mock, attack, and demonize those who are actually trying to resolve the problems. *[See (In)Justice Warriors; Counterfeit Love; Echo Chambers; Victimologists]
However, there is hope. In fact, there is an abundance of hope. But it is found only with the truth, true grace, and the God of hope, who is the true God of Scripture—not the counterfeits that are often put forth (e.g., Rom 15:4, 13; Jn 8:31-32; 1 Jn 1:5ff).
Of course, knowing the difference requires truth, true love, and discernment.
(Phil 1:9-11; Jas 5:19-20; Eph 4:30-32; Acts 17:11; Heb 5:14; 1 Kgs 3:9)
Excerpt from Failure To Protect: Why Sin & Abuse Is Not Handled Well In The Church
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