We are witnessing a somewhat recent—yet long overdue—movement within the Church, a movement that seeks to address and expose the egregious problem of abuse. More specifically, this abuse is often understood to mean the taking advantage of and harming of individuals who are generally more vulnerable (usually women and children, although abuse can happen to anyone). This focus on the primary problem (the actual abuse) has also shed light on the problems associated with it: namely, how the sin and abuse have been enabled to occur, and how these abuses have been mishandled or even covered up after they occur.
This current awakening has presented a great opportunity to make much-needed changes, to minister to victims and help them heal, and to correct countless injustices. Yet, sadly, we might also be losing out on these potential blessings. While the #MeToo and #ChurchToo movements may have started well, even producing some good things, it did not take long for them to be taken over, politicized, and manipulated for personal gain (as is often the case). Not surprisingly, what was potentially very helpful now has potential to do more harm than good. There are many reasons for this—perhaps the primary one being that these movements have been hijacked—driven by agendas other than truth, truth-based-love, objectivity, truth-based-justice, and healing firmly rooted in truth and genuine grace.
Whatever the case, we need to ask why these problems are not handled well in the Church. But before we answer that question, we must also ask: why is abuse (and other wrongdoing) usually not handled well in other institutions such as: Michigan State, Penn State, the US gymnastics and swimming programs, the television and movie industry, and even the government itself. The primary answer is that this is largely a human problem with many similar threads. Nevertheless, the Church is being held to a higher standard—and, in many ways, rightfully so.
It is worth noting at this point that many who witness Christians mishandling abuse (real or perceived) often mistakenly equate the errors and wrongdoings of individuals within Christianity (often “wolves in sheep’s clothing”) with all of Christianity. This erroneous generalized condemnation has led some people to discount all Christians, or all of Christianity. Many even become aggressive adversaries of Christianity, rather than accurately discerning the problems in each specific situation. Furthermore, other people will even use those who have been hurt and abused to further their anti-Christian agenda. While these false accusations might be considered a form of abuse, we will seek to explain why these things happen among Christians, as well as to differentiate the guilty from the innocent.
While the focus of these recent movements has mainly dealt with sexual abuse, we want to expand our field of vision in order to help more victims, to prevent the harm that occurs in many additional ways, and to pursue true justice and real restoration (wherever possible). Furthermore, our desire is for ministries and individuals to have a heightened awareness of these things, and to be fully equipped to address those things which grieve God, harm people, hinder healing, and, ultimately, thwart or pervert true justice.
With that in mind, there are a few things we need to consider in order to gain a deeper understanding of the problem:
- Handling these particular wrongdoings in the right way can be exceptionally difficult, even for the best-equipped person. How many individuals and churches do you know of who are adequately prepared to lovingly, objectively, and appropriately address and minister to both the offender and the victim of abuse?
- While it is good that the mishandling of sin and abuse has come to light, we rarely hear about those people who do properly handle these horrible situations. Could it be that rightly handling wrongs happens more often than we realize?
- Even when a ministry does handle a problem well, it is very common for others to declare they have done it poorly. Why? While this bias is a natural part of human nature, accusations often come from those who tend to be less objective and more emotions-driven and feelings-led, have unreasonable and unbiblical standards and expectations, have an agenda other than grace and truth, and who are willing to make absolute judgments based on limited or biased information. All of those characteristics are the enemies of justice and healing. [Often those who are falsely accused are hindered from responding to these harmful allegations— as well as from correcting false information (e.g., confidentiality reasons; the source is unknown or unwilling to cooperate).]
- Even when a situation is handled wonderfully, if not perfectly, there will always be some people who will condemn those involved for their lack of compassion, grace, forgiveness, love, etc. Or, on the other end of things, there will be those who condemn any correction, consequences, or true justice as being too lenient or of being an injustice—and they will likely spread this false narrative to others
- One key goal should be to have more appropriate consequences for abusers. Too often any consequences fall far short of what is needed. However, our overall objective is not merely to punish offenders (although this is very important). We also need to examine and understand the many ways we—the Church, society, and individuals —get things wrong in this area, and how to better approach it from all angles, and all sides.
- Speaking of all sides, when seeking to confront this destructive pattern, we must not only address the ineptitude or even evil nature of individuals and ministries who abuse and mishandle abuse, we must also address all harmful people and groups. This includes those who want to help, and are often zealous to do so, but may end up doing great damage instead. Why? Mainly due to their biased and flawed agendas, their lack of objectivity—and lack of concern for truth and accuracy—coupled with an erroneous ideology (see Enablers; (In)Justice Warriors; Counterfeit Love; Echo Chamber). Those in the second group can do as much damage to the pursuit of rightly handling sin, error, and abuse, as do incompetent or corrupt leaders.
Those who do not want to objectively examine all sides are not only hindering the solution, they are often a major cause of the problems. In fact, in many ways, they become the problem. If a person is not willing to objectively scrutinize all sides of this issue, then they are, or will become, part of the problem.
Tragically, as we know, many victims are not believed when they cry out for help, and the warnings of whistle-blowers are often not heeded. Even worse, many are attacked instead. This, by itself, is a colossal and harmful problem, not to mention a gross injustice. While these failures demand a correction—and consequences where appropriate—we must be careful to not overcorrect in response. In our zeal for justice, we cannot compromise truth or principles. An accusation does not equal guilt. Accusations must be taken very seriously, while at the same time investigated thoroughly and properly. Not only is this common sense, it is the right and fair thing for all involved—not to mention being the law in much of the world. It is also, not surprisingly, one hundred percent biblical (cp Deut 19:15-20). As detestable as abuse is, a false accusation can be just as harmful, if not more destructive. Without minimizing the horrific nature of abuse—and, to be clear, abuse can be far more harmful than false accusations—even just one false accusation can destroy a person’s life and greatly harm a church or ministry, along with countless other people (e.g., Acts 6:11ff; 24:5ff; 25:7).
Zeal + Error = Great Damage
Compassion – Objectivity = Enabling = Deception + Harm Pursuing Justice + Subjective/Unobjective will produce Injustice
Therefore, if we are truly against injustice, then we must be against any and all false accusations. If we are not, then, by definition, we are not really against all injustice. While most of us would agree that love is supreme, there is far less agreement about the supreme importance of truth and accuracy when it comes to both love and justice. This is what separates those who are genuinely for true justice, and those who are not. The latter group are also likely to fall victim to Counterfeit Justice, and, ultimately, becoming (In)Justice Warriors themselves.
To “love” with insufficient concern for truth and accuracy ultimately produces counterfeit love, which then produces both deception and destruction.
The supremacy of truth not only applies when it comes to love, but also when addressing accusations of wrongdoing. Therefore, if we are to truly love—and to seek genuine justice—we must cherish the truth, while also maintaining objectivity, thoroughly considering what all sides are saying (e.g., Prov 18:17; 1 Tim 5:19-21; Jas 2:1, 9; Deut 19:15ff).
Note: There may be times when an accusation is made of another person, and if you do not immediately join in and condemn the accused, you will be shamed, guilted, pressured, slandered, and falsely accused and condemned, often in the name of justice, love, compassion, and even Jesus Himself. This kind of response and gross injustice will usually come from those who might value compassion and caring, but not truth and accuracy (see: Counterfeit Love, False Summary Judgments, and (In)Justice Warriors).
Sadly, the poor handling of wrongdoing will always happen. However, not only can we greatly improve in this area, now is the perfect time to do so. Our first step here is to correctly identify the problems. In doing so, we will then be able to accurately understand why and where we tend to fail, which will then help us find and apply the correct solutions.
Why, exactly, do so many ministries and churches—and the individuals therein— fall short when it comes to properly handling sin and error? Some of the universal causes—for believers and non-believers alike—are ignorance, incompetence, and ill- intent. In addition to and overlapping these general factors are many more specific reasons why churches and ministries mishandle sin, error, and abuse.
Therefore, in order to get things right, to truly love and minister to all involved in wrongdoing, we need to be thorough and accurate in our understanding of the specific causes and solutions. After decades of experience in various churches and ministries, from witnessing sin, error, and abuse manifest in numerous ways and on different levels—and after years of talking directly with countless people about the sin and abuse they have experienced—we came up with a lengthy list of the many ways in which Christians, in particular, do not handle these things well.
#1 | LACK OF THOROUGHNESS
Everyone has an opinion—and there is no shortage of people who are willing to pronounce absolute judgments on a given situation and the people involved.
Yet, few are willing to be thorough in truly understanding the actual problems, or to be thorough in accurately handling and overcoming evil and error. Sadly and tragically, social media platforms—where only so much can be said on a topic, and is heavy on opinions, falsehoods, emotional responses, snarky replies, and false accusations—and light on objectivity, truth, and thoroughness —have become the main venue for shaping the thinking of many people regarding key areas of life. Even worse, some of these same people—those with limited, biased, or faulty information and understandings—not only see themselves as experts on these same key areas, they also believe they have the freedom and authority to pronounce absolute judgments on others (see False Summary Judgments and (In)Justice Warriors).
How many people do you know who have strong opinions on the overall topic of abuse?
Now, how many people do you know who are willing to take the time and effort to accurately weigh the information and carefully discern truth from error—or to seek to equip themselves to do so?
Excerpt from Failure To Protect: Why Sin & Abuse Is Not Handled Well In The Church
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